Archive for November, 2013

Second Hurdle of the Day

Monday, November 11th, 2013

As I sat drinking tea and calming down I was revving myself up again for the second hurdle

We had decided that it was time to start leaving pickle with my mum and dad. Or, more to the point, it was time for me to have some time to myself. I needed it. Pickle needed it. I think we’d become fed up with each other. It’s been 12 very long, very hard, very intense weeks where it has just been us, together, all the time. And I had begun to feel it and I think she had too.

So today was the day. After being at my mum and dads for an hour I decided now or never. We settled her on my mums knee with her milk bottle and she happily started playing with her hair while drinking (her comfort thing) and I gave her a kiss, said goodbye and went to leave while waving. She then took her bottle out her mouth, blew me a kiss and waved. She knew. She’s a bright little button.

I was then out the door, a force of will pushing me rather than of actually “wanting” to do it. I’d decided I was going to go and have a consultation at a hairdressers and then go for a cup of tea and a piece of cake at a local restaurant which I like. I was out for just over an hour and it was bliss! I can’t begin to tell you how much better I felt for just being on my own without worrying and not feeling guilty about leaving her. It was great! It was healthy. It felt right.

But the best thing was what happened when I got back. As I walked in I shouted hello but was greeted by silence as my mum was holding pickle behind the door pretending they were going to say “boo” to me. The look on her face when I appeared was magic! She beamed and grinned and obviously found it very funny that they’d been hiding and giggling behind the door. She was very pleased to see me but not clingy and didn’t get upset and she stayed close and kept cuddling and coming up to me. It was lovely. Mum told me that after I’d left she actually got up and looked for me all through the downstairs rooms, including the pantry! She did this with her milk bottle but not getting upset, just an air of concern, but on realising I’d definitely gone she went back to my mum and sat back on her knee. She then swapped between my mum and my dad a couple of times until she’d finished her milk bottle and then they all played together until I got back. They said it was lovely and I was so pleased.

I can’t believe how well it actually went. It couldn’t have gone any better and then Daddy P picked us up and we went home.

A perfect ending to a perfect day.




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Two Hurdles in One Day

Monday, November 11th, 2013

Today I caught the bus and went for a coffee on my own

Two very ordinary, mundane, normal things right? Not if you adopted an 18 month old child 12 weeks previously! Not if you’ve never, in your life, been on a bus on your own with a buggy, child, bags and the kitchen sink! Not if you’ve never left your child with someone else even if they spent the first 15 months of their life with “someone else”! If I tell you I was utterly petrified it would be an understatement. But I got up this morning and forced myself in to action.

I decided I would go to my mum and dads, on the bus, for the first hurdle. I carefully planned my route, the bus stops, the times. I even phoned the bus customer service department to make sure I could take a buggy on board. And then I set off, armed with everything I could think of that I might need. I needn’t have worried, it was a breeze. They even lower the bus for you to be able to get on with a buggy! Who knew!

We had to get off in town and get on another bus to my mum and dads but, again, it was a cinch *raises eyebrows and tilts head cockily* I was so confident by the time we got to where we needed to get off I actually got off a couple of stops early to get some exercise. And Pickle was fine, all the way there. I kept telling her we were off to see Nanny and PaPa which always helps!

We arrived safe, sound and un-ruffled…..(to be continued)

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First Illness

Saturday, November 9th, 2013

It’s Nov 9th and yesterday was the first day Pickle has been poorly since being with us and the first time she’s woken in the night

It started at midnight on the 8th Nov, she woke up crying and she never does that. I got up and went in, again something we’ve never had to do, and she was very hot, shaky, sweating and floppy. I was scared at first but remained calm. We took her temperature which wasn’t high but she did feel very hot so we gave her calpol anyway and took her sleeping bag off her so she was just in her pj’s. She had a bottle of milk to settle her again which did the trick and she slept for the rest of the night with sporadic shout outs of uncomfortableness.

The next morning I left her to sleep so she could catch up and she slept until 09:15, a very late sleep seeing as she normally wakes at 07:00! But when she did she was really unwell. Very hot, red, tired. So I made the decision to cancel everything we’d got planned that day and have a cosy, cuddly day. We got snuggled up on the sofa, I gave her calpol throughout the day and milk to keep her going because she didn’t particularly want food. And I realised, even though she was poorly, how good it was for us. I felt she trusted me to look after her and she snuggled in to me for almost the entire day. I put her to bed at about 11am for a 2 hour sleep and then got her up again. We watched 2 movies, The Frog Prince and The Swan Princess (good old Disney) and she took them all in, really enjoying it and making all the right noises at all the right parts! She’s an intelligent girl!

I then put her to bed at 17:30 (an hour early) and she woke at 18:30 really upset and really hot. It was like the illness had peaked so we got the last dose of calpol down her and I comforted her a bit then we put her back to bed with milk which she gladly took and then she slept….all night. It was so nerve wracking because I thought she might overheat and we wouldn’t know about it, all sorts of things were going through my head. But in the end I needn’t have worried, she slept all the way through and woke the next day like nothing had happened the day before, babbling and singing in her cot!

It was a scary experience having her being poorly for the first time but we coped, she was ok and I think we bonded even more than we had before.

I finally felt like a real mummy! 
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