Busy Days and Meltdowns

Yesterday I learned a valuable lesson. My life has changed.

Not that I didn’t know that anyway. But I tried to do 3 things today and Pickle seemed to cope really well, as she always does. She only slept for half an hour even though I put her down for 2 naps but she’s gone all day without sleep before and not had a reaction like she did tonight! I had to leave the house at 6pm to go to work and didn’t get home until 9pm so, as far as I was aware we’d done really well, apart from me being shattered from working so late. But when I got home Daddy P told me what had happened.

All appeared to be well up to half way through tea and then she kicked off…..big time! Daddy P said he’d never seen anything like it. She was inconsolable, screaming and was crying so hard she got blood shot eyes and a red face! I was horrified, both for Pickle and for Daddy P. the trouble is, it’s this part of things I don’t cope with. Even though logic (and Daddy P!) told me that it was because she was exhausted I then started to over think things, wondering if I’d damaged her by being busy in the day, thinking I’d ruined our attachment forever that we’ve built up and wondering if she’d survive the night, literally “survive”…..I know, madness! I waited to go to sleep until I saw her move on the monitor! I thought I’d made her ill, or that I’d caused her irreparable damage.

Actually, as it happens, she was just tired, she woke up fine and we’ve had a lovely, relaxed day at home seeing nobody and sleeping lots. I actually felt like I was coming down with something so I went to bed at the same time as her in the afternoon and we both slept for 2 and a half hours! I obviously needed it and so did she. I have to admit I’m a bit nervous now of seeing anyone but I can’t let that one experience control me. And I have to be allowed to see other people otherwise I’ll go mad! I’m still not convinced it was ‘just’ because she was tired but maybe we’ll never know.

When Daddy P got home tonight she beamed at him again as he walked in which always makes me happy. But then she was a bit shy around him which I struggle with. He doesn’t, it is my problem. She was fine after about 5 minutes but it’s just that initial coming home bit. Maybe her attachment to me is getting stronger because I’m the one at home now, but she does get Daddy P all to herself for about 8 hours on a Saturday, which is lovely for them.¬†Confusion all round today, I have to admit. I haven’t felt myself but have appreciated the time at home and the sleep.

And tomorrow is always a new day! 




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