Comforts and Cuddles

Today Pickle fell and banged her cheek really hard

She started crying immediately and I picked her up to comfort her as I always do, empathised and rubbed her cheek and kissed it over and over again while I held her close.┬áNormal scenario right? Not for us. And it wasn’t until this moment in time that I realised just how much we’d become used to her not allowing us to really comfort her.

I noticed the other day that she’d started to give me her hands or her feet to kiss better if she’d banged or stubbed one of them but she would always offer the other one for kisses too and seemed to enjoy the attention, care, kisses and love that I was showering her with. Not that I was complaining! But it was interesting because she’d never done that before, she never really let’s us comfort her “properly”. If she knocks herself and she hurts something but not too badly she will push us away after a second or two of comfort. Even if I’m just rubbing her back after getting down on the floor she will run away like nothing is wrong even though I know she’s hurt. And that’s what we’ve started to do so we’re not pushing ourselves on her if she doesn’t want to be comforted.

But even if she really hurts herself and she loses her breath (which is when we know she’s really bumped herself) she will only let you cuddle her for a second or two and then she’ll push you away. And if you don’t let go she has a tantrum or hits you. As I say, it’s strange what you notice subconsciously but don’t notice until something changes.

And today it did.

Today she fell and banged her cheek, hard, as we were playing. I went to pick her up as usual and I was sitting down so I gathered her up on my knee, rubbing her cheek, empathising, cuddling her close and kissing her cheek over and over again….and I suddenly realised she was letting me do it. Not only that, I was managing to calm her down and she’d started enjoying the kisses on her cheek and she was still sitting on my knee cuddling in. That’s the moment I realised it was the first time she’d allowed me to do that. It was amazing and surreal all at the same time. There’s no feeling quite like being able to comfort a child properly and having them accept and enjoy it.

6 months and at 21 months old Pickle has allowed me a little bit further in to her life and I feel honoured.

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