First Birthday Party

Today we took Pickle to her first birthday party invitation 

Daddy P had put her in her beautiful party dress and she looked amazing. Even at 18 months old she knows she’s dressed up and loves checking herself out in the mirror once she’s got an outfit on. And at the party she kept going up to people and stroking her dress to show them! Fortunately everyone picked up on this hint and kept saying to her how lovely she looked, which brought a smile to her face!

We arrived on time with a gift and a card and the disco lady had set up. Pickle was straight on the dance floor boogying away! She loves dancing and noise and people so she coped so well and was thoroughly enjoying herself. And for the first time I think we felt relaxed about “letting her go”!

It’s so hard when you’ve had attachment theory rammed down your throat for so long and, at 13 weeks in, it’s still early days. But you have to learn to relax and “let go” at some point. But then something did happen which really freaked me out. Pickle wandered up to a random woman and reached up, my heart started pounding, but fortunately she pointed to me and said “there’s mummy”! Phew. This woman doesn’t know me but I was relieved with how she’d dealt with it. But then I turned back to my friend and when I turned back…..she’d picked her up!!!!!

Heart in mouth, feeling sick and panicky I said to Daddy P “go and get her” but he was glued to the spot. I think we’re both so aware of attachment theory yet, at the same time we don’t want to come across as neurotic that we don’t know what to do in those situations. Some people may suggest that we stick to her like glue for the entire party but I don’t think that’s fair either. She’s such a confident, independent little girl that I don’t want to hinder that by being over (and unnecessarily) protective of her. Anyway, the friend who’s little girls party it was happens to be the friends who recommended us to the adoption charity we chose so understands everything totally and utterly and she just said “this will happen at parties, relax, she’s fine” and then told me to breath. I was fine (actually not really) but I felt much better once Pickle was back on the floor and dancing again which, within seconds, she was.  “Disaster” averted! But I really don’t think that woman should have picked her up (odd behaviour anyway!) and my body was telling me that something wasn’t right. Hyper alert? Maybe. But in some ways it’s a “good” feeling as I know I’m becoming truly attached to Pickle.

The rest of the party went so well, they had a little tea party and Pickle sat at the table with everyone else enjoying sandwiches, carrots and crisps and we even treated her to a chocolate donut which she shoved in her mouth and chewed it for an hour! After the party we were going to go home but our friends invited us back for a catch up, I was so pleased because these friends had led us to Pickle, without them she wouldn’t be with us, it’s as simple as that. So we went back and stayed for 4 hours. It was magic. We drank cava, Pickle and the birthday girl played together, we chatted, laughed, discussed, laughed some more and had a really good catch up. The girls had tea together and then Pickle borrowed some pj’s, dressing gown and slippers for the car so she could sleep on the way home, which she did, and we put her straight to bed (only after insisting we brushed her teeth which didn’t go down well!) and then we sank in to the sofa with nice food and X Factor. We were so proud with how the day had gone and how well we’d all coped with a bit of a different day, it couldn’t have gone any better. Finally I feel like we’re doing the things we should be doing and not worrying so much.

Finally we feel like a “normal” family. 

 

 

 

 

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