In The Beginning

On the 5th August 2012 we made the decision to contact our chosen adoption agency by email.

A careful, honest and considered email that resulted in them contacting us the very next day and arranging our initial meeting a week later. (Eeeek, too quick!?) If I’m honest now, looking back, I wasn’t really ready but because we knew the process was a long one I knew I had time to get used to it and get prepared for it mentally, emotionally and, just as importantly, physically. I needed to feel fit for this process and I’m glad we walk for an hour and a half every day now! It’s really helped.

But, in fact, it’s worked out really well. Starting before I was ready wasn’t such a big deal. If we’d have waited until I was totally ready we may even not have started now, never mind be very nearly adopting!

Our initial meeting went very well. We were really nervous and I’d cleaned like mad. Actually, not particularly because the social worker was coming round but because Monday is my day off and that’s when I usually blitz the house from top to bottom! She’d even said “don’t worry about cleaning, I’m not going to judge you on that” but that, in a way, made it worse because then I didn’t know whether to leave it or clean like I normally do! I decided in the end to do the latter and then left a couple of mugs on the kitchen top.

‘hash tag notfoolinganybody’

The social worker was with us for about an hour and a half asking us all sorts of questions about what had brought us to the decision of adopting, what sort of child we wanted (age, sex, background etc) and (slightly more offensive) questions like “why has it taken you so long to decide to have children”? Yes, we really were asked that question in ‘that’ way! Fortunately, because we know why we’ve waited (not “decided”) this long (we were both 36) we were able to answer the question without flinching and told her, without hesitation, that it was because we felt ready to provide for someone else, we’d done our going out and holidaying, we’d paid quite a bit of the mortgage off through sheer hard work and determination and that we had savings which would see us through emergencies. Not that you can’t go out or go on holidays when you have a child but, going through this process sometimes makes you feel that’s never going to possible!

So, having had her sit there for an hour and a half asking us all these questions and us answering them in full (we didn’t have a clue that those questions were the tip of the iceberg!) she made the decision there and then that we could go through the process.

That came as a bit of a shock as we hadn’t realised that we’d be judged so soon and that there was a risk that they wouldn’t take us on, but I’m glad I didn’t know that beforehand because I’d have been petrified and probably wouldn’t have left those cups out on the kitchen worktop! *twirls finger at side of head*

So, on Monday 13th August we knew we were on the (very long) way to adopting….

 

 

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