Keep Calm and Carry On

We’ve worked out it’s taken over 67 hours so far to complete everything.

Taking in to account all the homestudy meetings with our social worker, ‘homework’, prep meetings, activity day and nursery visits (to gain ‘experience’ with children *rolls eyes*) and other bits and pieces along the way, it’s taken us that long to get everything completed to become approved adopters. That doesn’t even take in to account, I now realise as I’m typing this up, the approval panel, reading 78 page long reports (that took us 2 hours!) meetings with the social workers, meetings with the foster carer, the drives to and from these meetings (it’s a long way!) and the life appreciation day we’ve just been on which was an 8 hour day. We are very easily up to the 100 hour mark right now and we still have our matching panel, placement planning meeting and introductions to do yet. I look back now and wonder how on earth we got through it, working normally, socialising like nothing was happening. But that’s us. That’s how we cope. We just keep calm and carry on. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard. I remember one particularly bad moment in time where I was treading water and felt very very low but trying to carry on and be as positive as I could at the time when someone turned to me and actually said “oh, stop trying to be so positive”. You could, quite literally, have knocked me over with a feather. I was so shocked I sobbed all the way home in my car to be greeted by a rather horrified husband who thought someone had died. That’s what I mean by the emotional bit. You can have one person say something like that to you (and actually it’s just rude!) and the whole emotional floor beneath you gives way and you’re free falling in to devastation.

I discovered, when we were going through the IVF process, that you have to have a VERY thick skin to deal with some of the utterly ridiculous and insensitive things people say. I’ve heard some corkers along the way! And you also have to have a very thick skin and keep calm when you’re being asked about everything, in detail, about your life to the social workers.

It’s bloody tough, but we’ve nearly made it….we’re nearly there. I just remind myself that there are other people in far more devastating situations than we are and that, at the end of this, we are going to end up with a beautiful little person in our lives.

And breeeeeeath.

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