Normality

I can’t quite believe it’s been three months since I wrote something on my blog. Time has flown by.

A lot has happened in that time. We’ve had our second Christmas (it only seems like a couple of months since the first one!) Certain individuals continue to make life difficult but I’m learning to try and ignore. Pickle met her aunt and cousin for the first time since they live a very long way away which proved to be very successful but was also very testing of all that we’d put in to our attachment. On one hand we wanted her to feel comfortable with my sister but on the other we wanted her to be wary as she’d never met them before. As it happened the whole situation was and felt very “normal”. There was certainly no rushing in to their arms. Tick. There was no extreme wariness. Tick. And she was comfortable in their presence but still needed me there. Tick. I feel we’ve reached a stage where Pickle feels comfortable with people if she sees I’m comfortable with them which is how it should be.

As I write this I’m ill in bed and have been all day. Pickle has reveled in it because it’s meant a day in bed for her too, watching what she wants on the ipad and drinking bottles of milk all day while I’ve dozed on and off all day. She’s currently lying sideways under the duvet with her feet on me. If you’d have asked me if we’d ever have got to this point several months ago I wouldn’t have put money on it that’s for sure. I still felt like I had to be the “all doing, all singing, all dancing” mummy that I felt I’d got to be when Pickle first arrived. But I now feel I can doze while she plays and poddles around while I’m poorly. The fact she has chosen to be with me all day, in bed, beside me is blissful.

I feel like we’ve actually reached “normal”. I feel like we’ve arrived.

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