Starting in the Middle

I’ve been meaning to start this blog for ages now. Well, since we started our adoption process, a whole year ago!

I have been making notes along the way but I’ve not actually sat and written it all down properly and, I realise, the longer I leave it and with a child it’s going to get even more difficult to recall, correctly, how this process has been for us and what, exactly, has happened.

Part of me feels like this year has flown by. The other part feels like its dragged so badly I just want it all over with, and have done several times along the (frustrating) way.

My original reason for wanting to start an online blog was because when we first considered adoption and started looking in to it I couldn’t find any blogs or diaries anywhere which started, in detail, right at the beginning of the journey which would give us a good idea of what the process was exactly like. Of course, we found websites like BAAF who give brilliant advice and information, but we wanted the emotion and reality of what happens, how it feels and what order things happen in. But we couldn’t find anything. Everyone’s blogs seemed to start either just before they were about to adopt (obviously written after they’d actually adopted and settled in) or way after they’d adopted. So all the info about what happens before you actually adopt seemed to be basic info much like on the official websites or talked about very briefly and lightly which sounded like people couldn’t (didn’t really want to) remember what it was like. We wanted stories, anecdotes, realism, feelings, emotions, the nitty gritty!

So, when we started down the path of adoption, I decided I would write a blow by blow account of what was happening on a weekly, if not daily, basis….but guess what….it never happened! I now understand why everyone’s blogs appeared to start after the adoption. It is, by far, the most draining, exhausting, emotional, frustrating, intrusive, involving process we have ever been through. I just, simply, didn’t have the energy or time for it. After every meeting, group, interview, piece of homework and our own conversations the last thing I wanted to do was type it all out and go over and over it again.

We’d had IVF before we started the adoption process but that experience (for us) pales in to insignificance (and we only had one cycle) compared to the adoption process. The most obtrusive question we were asked about our private lives were whether we smoked or not. And at least I was asked to *drop my pants for a reason for the IVF!

 

*more on that ridiculous note later!

 

Anyway, I am here now, starting in the middle, going back to the start and, hopefully, finishing with the beginning. And if you can understand that then adoption is definitely for you!

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