What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Or so the saying goes

In the last few days I’ve felt like I’m going to die. Not literally, I hasten to add, but definitely metaphorically and, quite possibly, emotionally. It’s not been a good few days at all. In fact, it’s not really been a good few weeks. But it’s been a builder. A slow ride to hell with peaks every so often to throw myself in to doubt as to whether it was actually happening or whether the decline in to hell was all a figment of my imagination. Sadly not. But it’s amazing how a guardian angel can come to your rescue right at the end of that road and whisk you off course to get back on the right track.

I was put in touch with another adopter. We met and ate lemon drizzle, drank through 2 pots of tea and chatted….for 2 hours! We had so much in common it was scary, even down to the nicknames we call our daughters. But what was so important for me was to be able to speak openly, candidly and honestly about how I felt and not have to explain why. She did the same. She was able to speak freely without fear of judgment or the badly hidden eye rolling that I seem to get from all angles at the moment.

It’s nice to tell someone about “The Time When Someone Picked Up Pickle And Walked Off” (like a title from friends!) and have her put her head in her hands in solidarity and empathy because she totally gets it and I don’t have to dive head first in to explaining why that is SO bad for everyone, not least Pickle, me and my husband. It’s refreshing. Easy. A relief.

As I left my Pickle in the capable hands of my Dad to meet this fellow adopter, this person who just “got it” without explanation and no sighing because she disagreed, I felt a sense of strength that I’ve not had in quite a while now. And the longer I was with her and the more we talked candidly about our experiences the more I felt my sanity seeping back.

Sometimes you don’t want solutions. You certainly don’t want judgements and having to feel like you’ve got to explain every last scrap of the why’s and wherefores. Sometimes you just need to let it all out to someone who just bloody well gets it and understands.

I think we both left that meet up a bit bouncier than when we arrived. I adopted 6 months ago. She adopted 6 years ago. It didn’t matter. We ”got” each other. And it was nice.

This whole experience may have been difficult but today I feel stronger.

And as I drove away a song came on, quite aptly. Kelly Clarkon, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. And the sun came out and I felt good, positive and ready to face everything again.

I also feel like I’m standing a bit taller.

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